I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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