oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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