oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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