morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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