There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
