so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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