i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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