Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize