Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
