My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
