Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
