I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
