i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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