Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
