yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
