You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
