i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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