Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
3pm strippers are depressing
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
