hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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