You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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