drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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