you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
