I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
