i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
