I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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