Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
