your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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