Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
