im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
