Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wear drunk well.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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