He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
