The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Sober January is a disaster.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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