I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
