I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
