once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
