Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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