i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize