He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
