Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
