If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
