tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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