If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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