Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize