dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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