belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
