"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
