I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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