I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
