nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
