it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
