put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just made my gag reflex go away.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He? As in you personified your dick?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
