and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
