So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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