bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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