READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
