He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize