You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
